Perfect Paper Airplanes

Carnival

So the first rule of Carnival is that you are not supposed to talk about Carnival, so I won’t I will just post my day to day events that by complete and utter coincidence occurred at the same time as Carnival.

WARNING: the following contains excessive alcohol, loss of dignity and extreme slutiness. Judge me silently.

Sunday: Intro night really, pre-drank with people that I didn’t know but met throughout the night. However all these people seemed to have fogotten me and spent the rest of the week re-introducing themselves/ignoring me. Went home early, ate half a poutine (for those who don’t know it, learn. Now.), half a bag of chips and an entire pizza. I am both disgusted and proud of myself (but mostly proud)

Monday: 9am beer chugging and ceasars at the university bar, yes I am THAT much of a trooper. This was followed by me wallowing in my hangover. Pre-drink then cab to a bar where there was supposedly a paint-party….more of a paint section. Danced with some guy, found out he lived in the same rez that I did last year, so obviously had to go home with him. He had a bleeding nose on me like halfway through (ew) but it was for the lol’s.

Tuesday: Started the morning by walking two floors down in that same rez because one of my good friends from back home was currently living there. Had coffee and chilled till going home to once again wallow in my hangover. Tonight was power hour, for those that do not know Power Hour is when you take shots of beer every minute for an hour (each time the song changes). This was sloppy and lots of half naked girls but I got bored and lost after leaving so I had to call for a ride home, slept in my bed and it was lovely.

Wednesday: That afternoon, when I was finally able to drag my ass out of bed was the pancake kegger at a frat. Now I feel that it is necessary to point out that this is my one and only time being in a frat and I have NEVER hooked up with a frat guy. Stayed for an hour then back home to eat. That night we went to a club in the old port and here is where my dignity lies, RIP. Made out with a girl half naked on the dancefloor, put on quite a show. Multipe three-way dancing, three-way makeouts and multiple threesome propositions. Ended up hooking up with a guy who has apparently thought I was hot for the last year and half and the whole time we were together he kept saying he couldn’t believe he was finally with me… I must say it was weird to be on the other end of the obession/stalkerish behaviour.

Thursday: My friends birthday, skipped out on the events to go out with him and his friends. Had to deal with a creepy ass cab driver but the night ended well seeing as I got to be with a guy (not the birthday boy) who I think is the sweetest thing ever and I want him to love me.

Friday: Cancer Auction. The premise, everyone gets shit-faced and bids on items ranging from plane tickets, train tickets, spa supplies, gift baskets, gift card to waxing committee members chests and even $1000 was paid to wax a guys asshole. And the great thing, it all goes to charity. This event meant a lot to me, my mother is a cancer survivor and our drunken debauchery raised over $20000 in 4 hours. Friday night was a foam party, I wasn’t quite sure what to expect but it ended up being a blast. Hooked up with this guy that apparently my friend has a thing for when she was 15.

Saturday: The rowdiest and final night. Starting with a pre-drink with gallon bottles of jungle juice and ceasar mix then to a beach party where I met a guy in the line up, went and danced for maybe 20 minutes before going back to his place. This guy and I had the funniest night, while yes were were fucking but we also watched part of a documentary, cooked together, had a heart to heart about this girl that he is non-exclusively seeing (awks…) and his worry that she was going to end it (which I told him to call me if she did). Slept over, had a nice walk of shame the next morning to pack my shit and move back to my apartment…

It is now Tuesday, and I am almost certain I still have a residual hangover.